As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Randomize
