and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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