the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
