So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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