I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
