Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
