Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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