Can i not drive my cunt home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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