Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize