pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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