I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize