To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Someone signed my nipple.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
