This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
