I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
