her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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