He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
