The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
