I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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