Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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