It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
