i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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