And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
