...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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