Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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