Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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