this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
