i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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