I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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