i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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