Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
