Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
