I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
