Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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