Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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