If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
third nipple confirmed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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