plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
