i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
