If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
