she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She is in my trunk
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
