But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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