If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I look better un-naked...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
