Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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