16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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