Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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