How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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