We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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