You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
