I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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