I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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