bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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