So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
