oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
