i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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