There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
