Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
