So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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