I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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