New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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