Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
