I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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