how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
