Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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