I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
